


Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 28: The Master Builders

by specspectacle, Twilight-Owls (LadyTorix)



Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [29]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Embedded Video, Episode Commentary, Episode Review, Podcast, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Swearing, Video, YouTube, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23392318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specspectacle/pseuds/specspectacle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTorix/pseuds/Twilight-Owls
Summary: The Constructicons seduce Grapple and Hoist with *words*.
Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1220114
Kudos: 2





	Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 28: The Master Builders

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if you need an audio only version of the podcast please check out the links at the end of the transcript.

[Stinger]

S: Okay, it's not actually a saber, it's a short saber, but-

O: Oh, yes, because that makes it better!

[Into Music] 

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: Today we're gonna be talking about episode 28: The Master Builder. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure. So we open with Powerglide, ace of the air, flying through the sky.

O: Skywarp fires on him with Starscream following close behind.

S: Now here's our main characters for this episode: Hoist and Grapple. They build stuff.

O: Theoretically. How much stuff  _ have _ they been able to build during a war, exactly?

S: That is the question. Very much so.

O: Not enough, probably. [laughs]

S: Yeah. Grapple is an orange and yellow crane and Hoist as a boxy, green tow truck who sounds, you know, slightly like Shakespeare.

O: Dinobot called, he'd like his shtick back. 

S: They're building a model for a solar power tower to uh, harness the power of the Sun. 

O: It sparkles. 

S: Yaaaayyyyy [softly]

O: Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle.

S: Then they wheel their little model over to the main room to show Optimus.

O: Who is played basketball with Spike.

S: And, somehow, not completely murdering him or accidentally committing manslaughter which, you know, always a good thing.

O: Yeah. He is still getting the lingo, though, as he calls it “drooling” instead of “dribbling”. 

S: Well, he’s attempting it.

O: He's trying. Dad- dad-bot’s trying. 

S: Yup. 

O: Dadimus prime, if you will. [Laughter] 

S: When Hoist and Grapple enter the room, Optimus does the Optimus equivalent of “think fast!” and tosses the ball at Spike, who, when he catches it, you know just-

O: Falls over.

S: -Falls over. 

O: [Laughter] They attempt to sell Prime on their tower idea but he doesn't approve because it could cause problems if it fell into Decepticon hands.

S: It's a valid point. 

O: It is. Uh, so while this is going on Teletraan-1 declares condition ‘magenta’ because Powerglide has been shot down.

S: Do you think that's a Powerglide specific, you know, condition or something, or is just specific for that type of Decepticon attack? Any Autobot being shot down? 

O: We don't know. I don't know if they'll ever use this again. Somehow, I doubt it. Grapple, however, is dejected by Prime's react- rejection. Uh, they are sent to Powerglide’s location to fix him up.

S: So both, um, Hoist and Grapple only have one hand. They- they really, really need to be working together.

O: There’s only two hands between them. And poor Grapple wonders if he shouldn't just give up on building things and become a grease monkey.

S: Poor dude. Powerglide is able to take off again after, you know, the two guys work on him and get him up and running and then, um, our two trucks are two, uh, two trucks head back to base via a canyon.

O: They stop and chat about, you know, their mutual disappointment but are overheard by a sneaky Scrapper.

S: Wait. No, no, it's just all the Constructicons sneaking on them.

O: All of them! And poor Grapple is the saddest crane in the world. 

S: He's so dejected, man. Hoist does not like the vibrations in this location and suggests rolling out before, you know, they spot the Constructicons.

O: You know, lending credence to, they probably should have left before they spotted the Constructicons. Scavenger knocks a boulder in front of them to block their exit before they can escape, though, so… eh?

S: And then Mixmaster seals their other exit with concrete. 

O: That's gotta be some really fast setting concrete. 

S: He's a chemist. 

O: [Laughter]

S: He can presumably do that shit. 

O: See, this is what I'm talking about, though. The Decepticons just need to patent half their shit. They'll make enough money, they could  _ buy _ a power plant or something. 

S: Yes, but that would be too sane and logical.

O: Again, they should just listen to Soundwave. You cannot tell me Soundwave hasn't had this thought.

S: Yeah but they probably have to purchase through a company but let's- let’s-

O: [laughs] Moving on! Or heading to commercial.

S: Yeah, as the two- as the two Autobots are buried in a landslide caused by Bonecrusher, um-

O: Don't worry, they're mostly fine. The Constructicons just wanted to talk, apparently. 

S: Ah, the relations between the factions. 

O: You know, that's a totally normal thing that Decepticons just want to talk.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: But with the amount of time Megatron shows up at their base wanting to talk, maybe I shouldn't make that joke. [laughter] Eh?

S: So the Constructicons say that they've left Megatron and they want to help Grapple and Hoist build this solar power tower that they have literally just heard about.

O: Yes. Megatron and Starscream are watching this at the Decepticon base by way of a hidden camera that's inside of a rock, though. 

S: How did the Decepticons know to place that camera there?

O: I don't know. I'm so confused how that camera got there. It would be one thing if Laserbeak was spying on them but I don't even think it was that. Like, I’m pretty sure it’s a camera that pops out of a rock.

S: It's absurd. This show is absurd. Starscream continues to be a blazing hypocrite as he starts screeching about the “Traitors!!” but Megatron says to leave them to him. 

O: Hoist and Grapple are definitely tempted, but the Constructicons offer proof of their good intentions by letting them go.

S: Which, I don't know how much I'd believe that after being, you know, buried under a pile of rocks but I guess they weren't any worse for wear. 

O: I mean, they are giant robots. Maybe that's equivalent of being pushed into a sandbox, for all we know. [Laughter]

S: Maybe, oh god. So, Meg- when the Constructicons show up, Megatron proceeds to give them shit, but they manage to convince him that they were doing it just to get the solar power tower. They’re- they're tricking them.

O: I mean, seems legit. The Constructicons do need to offer further proof to Grapple and Hoist, though. so Megatron's like, “Then you must give them my most precious possession!” before laughing maniacally. So Starscream's aft, then? [Laughter]

S: [Softly] His-his Optimus Prime clone?

O: [Laughter] His Optimus Prime blow-up doll, you say? 

S: [Laughter]

O: Ehh… how many of those does he got? Really, I want to know. 

S: Costumes.

O: Costumes. That copy of him he had floating around. The clone he had made. [Laughter]

S: Yeah, there's so many options.

O: Yeah, I just- why? Why? I know why, but why? [Laughter]

S: The Constructicons return to Grapple and Hoist with, you know, metric fuckton of Energon in tow. You know, I think probably in Longhaul’s bed because poor Longhaul is just the hauler-monkey.

O: I’m still weirded out that this is his most precious possession. Like, if nothing else shouldn’t it be his fusion cannon, or something? 

S: He cares more about food than anything else, I guess.

O: I mean, okay, not starving is important. I don't know, it's still weird. 

S: Yeah, I don’t know. But, no, this is enough Energon to build Grapple’s Tower!

O: Grapple is now the happiest crane in the world.

S: He's a very- a very trusting dude.

O: Yeah. The Constructicons burst into a construction site and steal a bunch of building materials.

S: And here you see a human with a sense of self-preservation.

O: He doesn't argue with the giant robots stealing stuff. Smart man.

S: I think he just tears up the blueprints while crying.

O: He does! He does! He’s like, “Heargh...” [Laughter]

S: Poor guy. And so work begins on the tower. 

O: But back at the Ark, Optimus is playing basketball with folks more to his scale, as Spike coaches them from the sidelines. 

S: That's much safer, Spike.

O: Much. [Laughter] 

S: And oh hey, Tracks is here!

O: And then immediately injured while playing basketball, may we remind you, and Prime says it’s time for a checkup.

S: But apparently Hoist hasn't been around much lately. 

O: Gee, I wonder why? 

S: He's off having an affair with the Constructicons, with Grapple, and it's... gonna be awkward.

O: Very. Meanwhile, back with our illegal Tower, the Constructicons are stroking the fuck out of Grapple’s ego. 

S: Yep and due to the fact that Hoist is- Hoist and Grapple are missing, Powerglide has been sent out to find them. And find them he does, and their little construction site. And this little tete-a-tete-

O: [Laughter]

S: [Laughter] With the uh, Constructicons.

O: Their little home away from home, if you know what I mean. [Laughter]

S: Yeah.

O: And then Megs- wow, I'm reading the entirely wrong section. I'm serious, why am I miss-reading all the parts? Umm, [clears throat] Powerglide relays this back to Prime.

S: Who then says, “Code Blue.” Which, I mean, what the fuck does that mean?

O: Consorting with the enemy?

S: We’re- we're learning so much about the color codes- coding system today and nothing makes sense.

O: No, it doesn't. Construction vehicles fly through the air as the Constructicons form Devastator.

S: This is to, like, put the finishing touch on the tower. And then Megatron shows up and shoots both Grapple and Hoist, who were just like, “Ah, we're betrayed.” 

O: [Singing] Did we mention we're betrayed? 

S: Yeah. Megatron does call their tower magnificent, though. 

O: Is it just me, or does he really seem to appreciate well bit- built shit?

S: What's not to appreciate about well built shit? 

O: I mean, you've got a point. [Laughter]

S: Cutting to the Autobots, we see Optimus leading the charge, with a group of Autobots in tow. With Spike riding shotgun in Prime's cab.

O: Because that's always a good idea. Ah, the Autobots shoot at the tower, a fight ensues.

S: The Constructicons reform Devastator in order to fight the Autobots.

O: Devastator now shoots eye beams. 

S: Let's just give all of these robots more powers when it's convenient, I guess. 

O: Remember, kids, when you're playing with your Devastator toy he can attack with eye beams.

S: After you've bought all six of the Constructicons. So you got to get all six of them to have Devastator, remember, kids.

O: You don't want him to be missing an arm, or a head, or any legs now, would you?

S: Or the torso. 

O: Well, they couldn't really connect there was no torso so I was going with their limbs, but yes.

S: That's true but, I mean, you can stick all of them in a potato. [Laughter]

O: Welcome to the world's weirdest Mr. Potato Head. Mr. Potato Head Constructor- Devastator. I- wait, he needs a better name but-but, Potate-dader or some- Potato-nader?

S: Devas-tater?

O: Devas-tator? Yes. [Laughter]

S: Devas-tater, god, with a hyphen. Okay, so Cliffjumper attempts to shoot his, ah, patented glass gas but it's just slapped away.

O: Megatron then pulls some binoculars out of his boobs to get a closer look at what's going on.

S: Titty-noculars?

O: At least they're not titty guns, I guess? 

S: How- I mean, why doesn't he use these-?

O: Ever again? Because we know what we're watching.

S: Powerglide it takes to the air but is met with Ramjet, who's almost immediately knocked out by Devastator, because Powerglide, if nothing else, is at least good at maneuvering. 

O: True and then we have Warpath, wham-powing with his way into battle.

S: Smokescreen then gets Devastator's attention and gets him to kick the tower by, I think, using his patented smokescreen thing?

O: Or being like, “Nananananana, I’m over here.” Something like that.

S: Yeah.

O: But Prime narrates this the entire time.

S: It really seems like Smokescreen shouldn't need to be told what to do.

O: He didn't, but the kids did. 

S: That is an accurate-

O: The Autobots shoot Devastator who falls onto the remains of the tower, and then it explodes. 

S: Megatron is very disappointed in this. He didn't- I mean, he- the guy didn't even do anything to get the tower, aside from turn up afterwards, but you know. 

O: He's upper management, Specs, he takes credit for  _ everything, _ remember?

S: True.

O: [Laughter] 

S: Oh and don't worry, all the Constructicons are perfectly fine, despite the exploding tower because it totally exploded.

O: The Autobots dig through the rubble to find Hoist and Grapple, who are also perfectly fine, albeit a little Han Solo’d at the moment. Like, they look like they're frozen in carbonite.

S: Yeah, yeah that's pretty... yeah.

O: [Laughter] 

S: But don't worry, Brawn punches them to freedom. 

O: Ah, yes, we found another good use for Brawn. Grapple and Hoist apologize which Optimus accepts immediately, unlike when Grimlock apologizes about a good 90 percent of the time.

S: [Sighs] But he does punish them. And their punishment is to go clean up the mess they made, all by themselves.

O: Everyone heads back towards home.

S: Grapple picks up what remains of this original model which, I guess, he took there?

O: He must have.

S: Yeah. He and Hoist uh, commiserate a little before they, too, head out.

O: Including tossing the model on top of the scrap heap to deal with later. 

S: Avoidance. It’s a tactic. 

O: That's where our episode cuts, so join us next time for bugs! Bugs! BUGS!! Big bugs!!! Also, mind control.

S: So much mind control.

O: So much mind control. I believe we have some fic recommendations for today?

S: Yes, we do. Ok, so our first recommendation for today is “Waiting for a World to Rebuild” by Caius. It's in the G1 continuity, it's rated G. It’s... got some shippy implications. Pairings are Grapple and Hoist. Our characters are Grapple, Hoist, and Rodimus Prime. And, in summary, “Grapple’s been waiting and designing and redesigning. When did he have a chance to build? Written for the TF speed writing prompt ‘setting the world to rights.’ It's about 300 words written in about a half an hour, revised and reposted per the authors’ summary.” The theme is Grapple and Hoist, and it's a complete- complete fanfic.

S: Our second recommendation for today is, “And the Walls Came Tumbling Down,” written by Pteropoda (SilentP). It's also in the G1 continuity, it's rated T, it's not Gen, so there's some Shippy stuff. Yeah, that's more than Shippy stuff this it's very overt, it is the subject matter in today’s-

O: Grapple and Hoist are definitely definitely, definitely in a relationship in this fic.

S: Yes. So there are obvious pairings, and the characters are Hoist, Grapple, Ratchet, Bluestreak and Red Alert, and, in summary, “Hoist has said the wrong thing and he knows it, but it's difficult to apologize when Grapple seems determined to never look him in the face plates again. Of course, the rest of the Ark knows better. According to them, those two have been together since the dawn of Cybertron and they will continue to be a couple until the end of time. All they need to do is to get those two to realize it.” And, again, the theme is Grapple and Hoist, this time very specifically as a pairing, and it's also complete.

O: That one sounds good, I haven't read these yet but I really want to read that one. 

S: Yup, they were both good. And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word), and various other locations by searching for, “Afterspark Podcast,” such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few. Until next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I'm Owls.

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

**Author's Note:**

> **Fanfic Recommendations:**
> 
>   * [Waiting for a World to Rebuild](https://archiveofourown.org/works/120919) by [Caia (Caius)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caius/pseuds/Caia)
>   * [And the Walls Came Tumbling Down](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1806049/chapters/3874636#workskin) by [Pteropoda (SilentP)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentP/pseuds/Pteropoda)
> 

> 
> **Where to find us:**
> 
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>   * [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/Afterspark-Podcast)
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